10 Things You Won't Hear Me Say or Do as a Women's Coach

I guess I am a bit of a maverick. I don’t like to do things the “coachy” way; a lot of things make my teeth itch in the personal development world. I like to be honest; I will say it like it is, but always with love and the best intentions. I love to laugh too. I also think I am quite funny, but I will let you decide if you get my humour.

I am passionate about how we talk to ourselves inside. Those self-deprecating jokes, the coulds, shoulds, and woulds and of course, the ever popular "I'm not good enough". My mission is to help women realise how amazing and inspiring they are. You see, I know that most women don't show their truth. The truth that is deep inside, for fear of being too much. Or maybe disappointing someone or themselves. We need to peel away those layers of self-doubt and thoughts that do not serve us and allow ourselves to let our soul shine and our spirit soar. To become more of who we are.

1. Be the best version of yourself This, to me, gives the internal message and dialogue of “I’m not good enough” I won’t reinforce that message to my clients. I will say, “Be more of who you are” The reason? I want my clients to dissolve that inner dialogue of not being good enough.  If we switch the internal dialogue to “be more of who you are”, it gives permission to look deeper within and allows your remarkable essence to flourish and shine even if you don’t know where it is yet.
   

2. Here’s the truth! I have my truth, and you have your truth. I would not impose my values, beliefs or “truth” on you. Your truth is for you to discover. I am very good at helping you do that, by the way – but it has to sit comfortably with you, and you should own your truth.
   

3. Everything happens for a reason Everything happens. How we deal with that experience can become a reason, a lesson, a joyful experience or whatever label you choose to give it. Some people may think of the happening as the worst period of their life, and they cannot identify the reason. What comfort is that platitude to someone going through a tough time?
   

4. Look for the positive in all situations Negative V Positive not on my watch! Emotions and thoughts are emotions and thoughts. We shouldn’t feel guilty or bad for feeling a specific way. If we are sad, unhappy, grieving, depressed, anxious or any other “negative” emotion, we should sit with it, acknowledge that is where we are at that moment. Just like the clouds in the sky, that emotion or feeling will pass and be replaced by another. Likewise, I won’t force happiness or fake positivity. I can show you ways to trick your system into feeling balanced more quickly and easily, while respecting your journey, feelings and experience at the time. This approach brings about a balance of emotions, helping to build resilience for future curveballs we are served, because there is always a curveball or two.  
   

5. Why didn’t you do that? If a client doesn’t do what they said they were going to do, it is probably on me for not setting the right homework or challenging them enough or maybe too much. We will discover what caused the hesitation and what can be done about it.
   

6. If you work with me for xyz sessions, you will be fixed I can advise, share knowledge and give an idea of how long we could be working together. Ultimately, it is your decision, and we may not even meet as My services range from online courses to long-term options. If we do work in person, we will focus on your progress and how you are feeling before deciding when and how to complete our journey together. – But the door is always open.
   

7. I won’t set you a SMART Goal Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. -SMART goals have never sat comfortably with me. Similar reason to point 1. Giving the impression you are not coming from a place of growth, but of not being good enough. We will always work with the intention to reach your goal, should you have one, but I firmly believe that when you start from a place of acceptance and allowance, you reach your goal in a more powerful and rewarding way.
   

8. I won’t give a specific structure to your session.  I am an experienced coach, and I will ensure each session fits you, the client and your specific requirements. We may use pure coaching to get deep conversations that hit the mark and give you focus until the next session. We could introduce hypnotherapy or EFT to support your nervous system and really break down old patterns, behaviours and beliefs that no longer serve. Whatever modality suits you. That is the one we will work with. It is your comfort and your session.
   

9. Sorry, time's up at 50 minutes The therapeutic 50-minute hour! I don’t set alarms in my sessions. I am mindful of the time, obviously, but I allow 90 minutes per session so real progress and connection can be made.
   

10. Daily emails from your coach. I won’t flood your inbox with offers, information and must-see details. I don’t like it when it happens in my in-box; it can get overwhelming. I don't send emails just for the sake of it. But I will let you know when I have something exciting to say, so keep an eye out. And there is always the unsubscribe button. Highly recommended if you are overwhelmed when opening your inbox.
    

11. Metaphors I won’t bore you with relatable stories and likenesses for your circumstances

    Sorry, Jokes! Of course, I will!  

There you go, 10 things I won’t say or do to you as my client. If you like my list and my thought processes, maybe we should talk about working together. Mucho Elaine x