Have we stepped back in time?

I do believe the marketing gurus out there think we have. I feel as I scroll on social media that I have stepped back into the 1970's or 1980's

I had the pleasure of attending Yorkshire Ladies' Links a couple of weeks ago. Christa Ackroyd opened the day with a comment that really struck a nerve. Christa stated she felt we had gone back in time, with how women are seen, perceived and treated by the patriarchy, authority and the media. The theme of the day was Yorkshire Voices, Reset and Rise. Advocating for being seen and heard, yet in the last few years, our voices appear to have been ignored and dismissed.

On the day, there were stories of women beating the odds, bravery and stepping into their truth. The day closed with the most humbling story, every woman in the room raw with emotion. Clare Throssell MBE shared a story that should never have been told. If her voice had been heard and her concerns addressed all those years ago. She would not have been sat on that stage being interviewed by Christa, she wouldn't have attended Downing Street, the House of Commons, been on TV or written her amazing book that had me sobbing from the outset.

Meeting Clare. I will write more about this amazing lady

How can women be taken seriously in the courtrooms, in government and in the places where change happens when the messages we are fed are geared to needing and seeking validation? Giving the messages to be passive, "good", and stay small.

The marketing professionals have so much to answer for.

Yet that very same event, one geared towards women, being heard, seen and showing their worth, I was saddened to see so many stalls with marketing that in my mind did not validate women as individuals.

One stand was aimed specifically at women.  The product was not designed for men’s personal use in any way, shape or form.  It was to support women who were experiencing menopausal dryness affecting the vagina, discomfort during penetration and bladder leakage. All very female issues, I am sure you will agree.

The product was a space-age tub chair with a vibration element. There was a constant queue for the chair, and I didn’t get the opportunity to try it out.

I wanted to, but the marketing roller banner and subsequent flyer I collected turned me right off, which I think was the opposite effect it should have had!

Displayed on a promotional roller banner

A woman was sat in the chair, and standing behind her with his arm on her shoulder was, I presume, her partner. Hovering over her whilst she was in the chair – Giving me vibes of "You sit there love, and then you can sort me out on Saturday night" *other nights are available

I checked out the literature, and there, bang central in the form was a testimonial from a husband who said their lovemaking was more pleasurable since his wife had started using the chair.

How Did the Wife Feel?

The product was created for her, or was it? It was her chair, for her conditions to make her more comfortable. His pleasure is a side effect; what about her pleasure and experience?

Why do we need partners to validate our use of products that are solely for women's use? They are designed for women to support women’s health, vitality, bladder and sexual comfort. I would be more inclined to look at such a product if the women on there gave it their validation and didn’t need a man standing behind them ready to claim his Saturday night fun time.

Onto Social media

Is it the algorithms, I don’t know, but I do know I am fed up with seeing ads with headlines such as.

"Do you want a body that will make him stare?"

This from a woman in her mid to late 50’s asking that question, urgh.

NO, I FECKING DON'T I want a body that is strong and will take me into the next chapter of life. I want to love the reflection because it's my body and I am proud of it, not because some bloke will stare. Don’t get me wrong, an admiring glance from my husband is wonderful and may make me rue the day I didn’t try that chair! But I want my body to be amazingly strong and vibrant for me and my future.

Yes, algorithms are probably playing with me as I am menopausal, I am focusing on my body, health and vitality, so I do probably get more than my fair share of reels and adverts aimed at the menopausal woman.

But I don’t want a 30-something man telling me where I'm going wrong, what exercises are needed to prevent falls in later life and advice regarding the nutrition intake to support my hormones -no matter how fit he is or how blue his eyes are.   I want support, advice and knowledge from someone who knows how I feel, when I feel it, and can support me through it.  Not someone who saw his mum crying over that Christmas advert and read her HRT prescription when his phone battery died. He's a self-proclaimed menopause expert; he’s no expert, no matter how blue his eyes are.

Why have we turned full circle?

Having to work for the attention and approval of our menfolk. It's not just roller banners and social media, I recently saw an ad on TV.

An advert about a woman and career journey. Empowering you would think.

• Qualified nurse - wonderful

• Had a baby - fabulous

• Had baby number two, amazing, family complete!

• Shifts were hard - Yep, get it

• Went into teaching to fit it around "her family commitments" - Fine, no shame in that at all.
  

I have made sacrifices for my family, as has my husband, too. We are a team. 

What got my goat was the patronising narration from the “husband”, stating he was proud of her for going into teaching the next generation of nurses, to fit around her family commitments. Why was it not her voice stating,

"I made this decision – I’m teaching others to qualify for a role that I adore. It fits in with my commitments, and I am so glad of the opportunity to share my skills with others, I've got the best of both worlds". - That would have made me listen.

Have we really gone back a few decades?

Do we need those messages that keep women small, insignificant and needing the validation of men to sit in a chair, to go to the gym, to change focus in our careers?

Isn’t it time for a change in the narrative?

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